We always feel so optimistic when we enter the chapel. Everyone beautifully groomed, potty-ed and had their drink. Carefully sitting in the order that will most encourage reverence. On the second row so they actually notice the presence of a speaker.
Julia sits on my lap. Sure, she’s too old for this, but this ensures that one of the kids is fully out of the action because she snuggles down and is essentially motionless during the duration. She and I sit direct in front of the podium. Miri & Jacob must not sit together. Mike courageously tackles Paul, and Seth & Jared anchor the aisle seats as reverse bouncers.
I first noticed this Sunday might be out of the ordinary when the speaker kept staring at Julia, would wrench her eyes away, and then irresistibly be drawn back. When I peered around her face I saw that she had smuggled some large green glasses in, with rotating lights that flashed red and green, and was staring at the speaker.
Paul, never stellar in SM, was feeling particularly feisty. After a successful glasses theft, he was silent for a few minutes while he practiced turning them on and off. In a sneaky speedy move he threw the glasses in front of the podium, fell onto his belly and speed scooted out to “retrieve” them. Final freedom grin!
From his anchor spot, Jared charges to the rescue, using the sports skills he’s been carefully honing. Keeping the glasses in play, he scoops them up and, in one fluid motion, does a beautiful l scooping lateral pass to Mike over the bench and tackles Paul. Triumphant, he brings Paul back to the fold. We only go downhill from here, if possible.
Our 1st councilor says he likes to watch the faces of parents exiting SM, howling kids in tow. Most look resigned. Some, happy to escape. Some rolling eyes that their wife thought their kid even needed to exit. He said Mike’s face was pure righteous anger. Paul’s grand finale: grabbing Seth’s mechanical pencil and doing a deep arm stab on Miriam, leaving her quietly sobbing into my shoulder, with Julia indignantly wondering where her nice glasses had gone.
Some of our talks were a bit slow this week. Good thing the whole congregation had the Dixon Variety Show to watch front and center.
And we can’t wait to go back next week and do it all over.
